Revealing the things they don't want you to know.
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BURGER KING TO INTRODUCE WHOPPER SENIOR
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You may have heard of the Whopper and the Whopper Junior,
but a new sandwich is on the horizon at the nation's number three burger chain,
one they hope could get them back into the number two position ahead of rival,
Wendy's. They may even have their sights on industry leader, McDonald's. Unlike
their competitors under the golden arches, Burger King says they will target
folks in their golden ages.
UNRESTFUL SPIRITS CAUSED SUPER BOWL POWER OUTAGE
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The NFL, Management of the Superdome, and New Orleans' electricity provider, Entergy have not delivered a definitive answer to why the power went out during Super Bowl XLVII, but I have heard from someone who has an explanation.
Renowned New Orleans psychic, Madam Sophia LaRoque says that ghosts are responsible.
WINDOWS 8 PICTURE PASSWORDS HACKED
Microsoft has heavily advertised a new feature for signing into their new touch screen friendly OS,
Windows 8. They call it picture passwords. Instead of typing something, you are presented a pre-chosen picture,
and you make finger gestures on it. This might come in handy when you don't have a keyboard, but I have uncovered a problem.
Picture passwords are hackable. Read More |
NEW GOOGLE TECHNOLOGY WILL READ MINDS
Read More |
Do
you ever want to search for something, but aren't sure how to put it into words?
Do Google, Yahoo and Bing spit back off-topic junk every time you try? Google
thinks they will have a solution for this problem by around 2015. Their system,
if it works, will be able to directly interface the human brain, so you don't
have to put it into words.
DO NOT LEGITIMIZE "INFOTAIMENT"
There is a commercial airing right now for the Chevrolet Malibu that is so
offensive, that I want to throw my shoes at the TV every time I see it. Why? The
use of the word, "infotainment". This word is a pejorative describing the
content free garbage that the tabloid press and the idiot box pass off as news,
not my car stereo with a GPS navigation system or a hands free system for my cell phone crammed into it. Stop saying that.
Read More |
ANDROID TABLETS ARE A PAIN
Imagine if this garbage were going on in Windows PCs... 90 percent of new PCs sold would be returned, and their former owners would swear off computers forever. Read More |
I have had an idea
for a while now. I need an Android tablet. Apple i-Pads
don't do flash, so I wouldn't have the whole Internet, and besides, I'm not
a hipster. I can't turn a laptop sideways to read a book or a magazine. That is a
pain. An Android tablet seemed like the answer.
REBUILD BRENT SPENCE WITH CORPORATE SPONSORSHIP
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I was recently in Cincinnati covering the fallout over the
fight between the University of Cincinnati and Xavier men's basketball teams,
and learned about the plight of the Brent Spence Bridge. In case you didn't
know, this behemoth double-decker span carries Interstate 71 and Interstate 75
across the Ohio River between Cincinnati and Covington, Kentucky. Though it was
considered a marvel of modern engineering when it was built, it has long carried a
lot more traffic than it was ever intended to, and is aging
badly. This bridge needs to be replaced, but a lack of funding has prevented it
from happening.
Interstate 71 runs from Cleveland to Louisville, and Interstate 75 runs from the
Canadian border to Key West. The country cannot afford to have these highways
severed in the middle of their courses.
JUST MAKE SOME CHEESE AND PEPPERONI
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I took my grandkids to a pizza buffet the other day, and found nothing they would eat and scant little I would.
It blows my mind how something that should be stupidly simple was botched so
completely. What kind of pizza do little kids eat? Plain cheese. What kind of
pizza do bigger kids and most adults prefer? Pepperoni. Neither of these were
available when we arrived. There was one with no sauce, and some garden
vegetables. There was one with barbecue sauce and chicken. There were two dessert
pizzas, one with a suspicious white sauce, and even one with potatoes on it. I
kid you not, potatoes on a pizza!
TIME TO UPDATE THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCESince it was first written by the Reverend Francis Bellamy in 1892,
the Pledge Of Allegiance has been a great way for good Americans to show their devotion to this blessed nation.
He wrote it to commemorate the four hundredth anniversary of Columbus' discovery, which made our nation's
founding possible. The Pledge has also been a highly effective tool for weeding out undesirables.
The original wording was I pledge allegiance to my Flag and the Republic for which it stands, one nation,
indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. This simple and clear loyalty oath was enough to weed out
unrepentant confederates who would divide the country again, as they believed in a voluntary confederation
of sovereign states that could secede if they so chose, not one nation, indivisible... |
PERSON OF INTEREST IS PROPAGANDA FOR BIG BROTHER
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The
government has cameras everywhere, and is watching all the time. We are all
under surveillance.
Everything we do is seen and everything we say is heard. Does this sound like
the description of a place you want to live, or a frightening dystopia? The
people behind the TV show, Person Of Interest want you to like this idea, and
are producing the show for the express purpose of selling it to you. Why would
they do such a thing? Because the government is paying them to.
WHAT IS THE CLOUD?
Read More |
Every day, at least one salesman gets through my call screening somehow trying to sell me "the cloud".
It is the greatest thing since sliced bread, and without it my company is a dinosaur. That is what they always tell me.
HURRICANE BEARING DOWN ON US MAINLAND. IS OBAMA TO BLAME?
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The first
major tropical cyclone of the current hurricane season has formed. Hurricane
Irene is expected to strengthen to a Category 3 by Wednesday, having sustained
winds of at least 111 MPH. The path of this storm will take it straight to the
US East Coast, most likely to The Carolinas. Is President Obama to blame for
this impending catastrophic storm? Many say yes. He is the President, yet he has
done nothing about it.
MADAME SOPHIA LAROQUE REPUDIATES NEW ZODIAC
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I was
curious about the "New Zodiac" and "New Astrology" that has the Internet buzzing
lately. Though my managing Editor, M. Grant Winston laughed at me, and I had to
plead with him to do this story, I got it done. I went to New Orleans to ask
famous seer, Madame Sophia LaRoque what she thought.
MCDONALD'S BECOMING INCREASINGLY UNFRIENDLY TO THE POOR
Now, you will get the bum's rush if you have been there a moment longer than it takes to choke down a burger and fries, then run. Why is that? It is a part of growing hostility toward the poor. Read More |
You don't deserve a break today, so get off your butt and get away from McDonald's!
That is the message I get when I read this sign. Unfortunately, it is no aberration.
It is part of a trend. These signs are starting to appear everywhere.
RAMA HO LAMA SAYS ICELAND MUST SACRIFICE With a massive volcanic ash plume disrupting air traffic all throughout Europe,
and no end to the eruption of Eyjafjallajokull in sight, people are wondering if this eruption is
in any way unusual. "Yes" says Rama Ho Lama, leader of the Washington State volcano cult,
Children of the Great Firey One. Ho Lama contacted me personally this time. I did not have to seek
an audience with him as I did several years ago. His aides tell me that this is a highly unusual
action by their spiritual leader."He is angry" says Ho Lama. "The Icelandic people have greatly offended The Volcano God somehow, and must appease him. Read More |
WAL-MART WANTS TO BANKRUPT THE GIRL SCOUTS Do
you look forward every year to Girl Scout Cookies? I know I do. Tagalongs and
especially Thin Mints are irresistibly delicious. I must have them! When some
people jokingly refer to Thin Mints as cookie crack, I get it. Wal-Mart is now
making rip-offs of those two great cookie recipes. They will be sold under the
Great Value line, and will probably be cheaper than the genuine article. Buy
them, and the money goes to an evil mega-corporation sending jobs to China, and
selling American consumers dangerous and lead-tainted Chinese products, not to a
charitable organization that has helped raise our daughters to be good citizens
for generations.Read More |
HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS CONFUSED ABOUT MOON LANDING A
poll was recently taken just before the end of the past school year about the
upcoming fortieth anniversary of the Apollo 11 moon landing. I met a student who
thought he knew about it, and even gave a presentation to his class. He repeated
the presentation for me...
"The Moon Landing. Back in the hippie days of the sixties, not
everyone was protesting and getting high. We actually put two men on the moon.
That was real cool!...Their names were Stretch Armstrong and Buzz Lightyear." |
MAN WINS NCAA OFFICE POOL WITH HELP FROM PSYCHIC"After reading about her predictions for the year 2008", said Steve, "I had to try asking her to fill out my tournament bracket. She was reluctant at first, but finally agreed at a fee much higher than she usually charges. Although I paid her a lot, it was much less than what I won in the office pool. It really blew everyone's mind at the office. I even got an extra payoff from the boss who bet that no one could fill out a bracket with every single game right." |
WHITE NOISE GENERATORS MAKING BROWN NOTE
A lot of people have trouble sleeping in complete silence. Sound, however, can put them into dreamland just like a mother's lullaby. Because of this, many doctors
have prescribed sound making machines to help their patients get the rest they need. These noise machines can make whale song, waves, waterfalls, twittering birds
and several other sounds from nature, but the most popular and effective are white noise generators. They make a sound similar to a TV tuned to a channel that is off the air.
Lately, a terrible and messy problem has plagued many users of this electronic sleep aid. White noise generators are malfunctioning during the night, and making the brown note. For those unfamiliar with the term, the brown note is a low frequency or range of low frequencies which, at adequate sound pressure levels, will cause a loss of bowel control. My research seems to be showing that only one brand of white noise generators is affected by this flaw, but it is among the biggest names in the industry. Read More |
NUCLEAR LIGHT BULBS TO MAKE CF OBSOLETE
I recently learned that a revolutionary new lightbulb had been invented by Energon Thermodynamics, one that promises to make all others obsolete.
I am interviewing Larry Trudeau, their CEO about it.A lot of us have abandoned incandescent bulbs in favor of more efficient CF (compact fluorescent) light bulbs. While they use less energy than the old style, they still do require you to pay your local gas and electric company each month. Energon Thermodynamics has one-upped them big time with nuclear light bulbs. They generate their own energy, so after the initial investment of buying them, you are finished paying for them. All you need to do is turn them on. You can even leave them on if you like Read More |
POLL FINDS MAJORITY THINK ELECTORAL COLLEGE IS A SCHOOL A joint study by Brandine University and The Helvetica Institute recently looked into Americans' understanding of the presidential election process.
Their findings indicate that the public knows very little about how the process works, and much of what they think they know is wrong. Among other mistaken ideas,
a majority of the American public thinks that The Electoral College is a school. These are the very people who will be choosing our next President.
“I was taken aback,” said Dr. Janis Thayne of Brandine University. “How can so many be so misinformed?” Read More |
WHO IS THE IDIOT WHO CAME UP WITH GLOSSY SCREENS?
 We just got new laptops here at The Uncoveror, and I hate them. These new glossy
screens have to be the dumbest thing since the
CueCat or Microsoft Bob. Look at this picture! I can see the light fixture above
me and the window behind me like I am looking in a mirror,
but the image on the screen? Not so much.... I have been looking for some kind of anti-glare filter to put over this screen since the day the purchasing department foisted these glorious marvels of modern technology upon us, and no one seems to make one. How could anyone think that we would like these awful screens? Read More |
