cartoon detective

THE UNCOVEROR

Revealing the things they don't want you to know. It's the real news!     Add to My Yahoo! 

Featured Stories:

ALIENS ASSASSINATED KENNEDY

Many records about the JFK assassination that were previously classified are now available to the public. They were released by the National Archives first in July of 2017, then in October, November and December. A new suspect has emerged that previous theories had not considered, and it is something out of this world.

On May 25, 1961 President John F. Kennedy gave a speech to a joint session of Congress and said. "First, I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man on the moon and returning him safely to the earth...

Read More

WHAT WAR ON CHRISTMAS?

Right wing talk radio, Fox News and a lot of angry, foaming at the mouth people egged on by them would have you believe that there is a war on Christmas. They insist that the greeting, "Happy Holidays" is part of a plot to ban the observance from public life. One of the targets of their rage has been Starbucks. Apparently their cups in red and green, traditional Christmas colors, aren't catering enough to Christmas lovers. I decided to visit a Starbucks store myself. A real Starbucks store, not just the coffee aisle at a supermarket. Have a look at what I found!
To please the anti-Christmas conspiracy, they blatantly made a coffee called Holiday Blend. No, wait! They didn't at all. It is called Christmas blend.

Read More

THAT FAST FOOD BURGER YOU ATE PROBABLY WAS NOT BEEF

Did you enjoy the burger you just ate at your local fast food joint? Did you think it was 100% USDA Certified Beef? It might not have been beef at all, but Meatelle. What is that you ask? A new meat substitute the industry is adopting that many will find alarming. I recently spoke to a representative of its manufacturer, Substitech. I did not like what I heard.
"Meatelle is the wave of the future," says  Mortimer A. Smith, a company Spokesman. "It does not require the raising and slaughter of livestock, nor the growing of crops, so it does not tax our overstretched supply of farmland. We manufacture it in a facility near Cincinnati Ohio, and ship it to our clients from there. A single site is all we need."
Manufacture? That seems a strange way to describe producing something people will eat...

Read More

HOW THE CUBS GOAT CURSE WAS BROKEN

I was really surprised to see the Chicago Cubs win it all this year. After all, they were supposed to be cursed, and had not even been there since the curse was put on them in 1945. Back then, William "Billy Goat" Sianis who owned The Billy Goat Tavern wanted to bring his mascot, a live billy goat named Murphy, into Wrigley Field with him. They were kicked out because, in the words of Cubs owner P.K. Wrigley "The goat stinks". Sianis became enraged and cursed his once beloved Cubs. Not only would they lose the 1945 World Series to the Detroit Tigers, but they would never be back to it. Never, until 2016 that is.
I wanted to learn more about what made this possible, so I contacted my favorite expert in the supernatural and paranormal, famed New Orleans psychic Madame Sophia LaRoque. She explained how it was made possible.

Read More

GET READY FOR HALLOWEEN

It is almost time for Halloween, and our staff have lots of ideas to help you be ready. First, you are probably asking "What candy should I hand out?" Here is all you need. Smarties and Dum Dums have been packaged together. You can pass judgment as you pass out treats. See a really well done costume or hear a really clever turn of a phrase? Give Smarties to that kid! See a poorly done costume, or worse, no costume at all? Hear something mindless? Here, kid. Dum Dums for you! In most neighborhoods these days, expect to have Smarties left over.

Read More

 

AN OPEN LETTER TO STAN KROENKE

Dear Mr. Kroenke;

I know you and the Rams are unhappy in St. Louis, and ready to move away. With renovations to the Edward Jones Dome cancelled, and the ultimatum that playing a home game In London would constitute a violation of your lease, who can blame you? But I must ask you to consider whether Los Angeles is really the place to go. Instead of that, bring the Rams back to their original home on the coast of Lake Erie; Cleveland Ohio.

...You may say that we already have a team, but they barely qualify as a professional football club, and aren’t the real Browns anyway.

Read More

ELF ON THE SHELF SELLS SURVEILLANCE STATE TO OUR KIDS

There is a recently invented trend its pitchmen hope to make a tradition, The Elf on the Shelf. He is a scout who will report back to Santa Claus whether children have been naughty or nice. Is this just an innocuous little add-on to the legend of St. Nicholas? Hardly! The Elf on the Shelf is designed to make current and future generations of American children used to being watched at all times. It is a plot from Big Brother to make the surveillance state seem normal.
...They have a goal of making us forget about privacy and personal security, and it has nothing to do with protecting us from crime or terrorism. It is only about power. They invented this diabolical little imp they would have children believe is one of Santa’s Helpers. Do not be fooled.

Read More

GOOGLE BUILDING ARMY OF KILLER ROBOTS

Google's alleged motto is "Don't be evil." They would have us believe that they are the good guys, and don't intend to do any harm. I don't believe this hollow slogan. They must be saying that with fingers crossed behind their backs, as a recent patent filing reveals a plot that is evil on par with any Hollywood or comic book madman, hell-bent on world domination ... Google has been obsessed with robotics in recent years, buying out companies like Boston Dynamics, the makers of the BigDog and Atlas robots, and any patent they can find related to robots. Google has even started a program where inventors who want to sell their patents can easily pitch them called the patent purchase promotion.

Patrick Moorhead, an analyst with Moor Insights & Strategy says "Google is building a stash of patents, like an arms dealer collects weapons." This quote is very telling.


Read More

SURVEY SHOWS THOSE AVOIDING GLUTEN DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS

"Gluten Free" is the current craze among shoppers seeking healthier food, but what does that mean? Do people really know? This was the subject of a survey recently done by The Helvetica Institute. Surveyors asked hundreds of people in grocery stores and on the street two questions: "Are you avoiding gluten in your diet?", and "What is gluten?"
"Gluten? I don't know what it is, but all my girlfriends tell me it's bad so I ain't having none of that." said a women who declined to give the surveyor her name.

Read More

MADAME SOPHIA LAROQUE REPUDIATES NEW ZODIAC

I was curious about the "New Zodiac" and "New Astrology" that has the Internet buzzing lately. Though my managing Editor, M. Grant Winston laughed at me, and I had to plead with him to do this story, I got it done. I went to New Orleans to ask famous seer, Madame Sophia LaRoque what she thought.

"Colleen, my darling, there is nothing new about this so-called new astrology. Sidereal or Eastern Astrology has been around over a century. I do not understand why people want to hear about it all so suddenly." She went on to say, "This thirteenth sign, Ophiuchus or "The Serpent Bearer" has no bearing on people. Feel free to ignore it."

Read More

 

WAL-MART WANTS TO BANKRUPT THE GIRL SCOUTS

Do you look forward every year to Girl Scout Cookies? I know I do. Tagalongs and especially Thin Mints are irresistibly delicious. I must have them! When some people jokingly refer to Thin Mints as cookie crack, I get it. Wal-Mart is now making rip-offs of those two great cookie recipes. They will be sold under the Great Value line, and will probably be cheaper than the genuine article. Buy them, and the money goes to an evil mega-corporation sending jobs to China, and selling American consumers dangerous and lead-tainted Chinese products, not to a charitable organization that has helped raise our daughters to be good citizens for generations.

Read More

 

HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS CONFUSED ABOUT MOON LANDING

A poll was recently taken just before the end of the past school year about the upcoming fortieth anniversary of the Apollo 11 moon landing. I met a student who thought he knew about it, and even gave a presentation to his class. He repeated the presentation for me...
"The Moon Landing. Back in the hippie days of the sixties, not everyone was protesting and getting high. We actually put two men on the moon. That was real cool!...Their names were Stretch Armstrong and Buzz Lightyear."

Read More

 

All Stories:

ALIENS ASSASSINATED KENNEDY

WHAT WAR ON CHRISTMAS?

A GOOD GUY IS MAKING RASPBERRY PI CASES

THAT FAST FOOD BURGER YOU ATE PROBABLY WAS NOT BEEF

HOW THE CUBS GOAT CURSE WAS BROKEN

GET READY FOR HALLOWEEN

AN OPEN LETTER TO STAN KROENKE

ELF ON THE SHELF SELLS SURVEILLANCE STATE TO OUR KIDS

GOOGLE BUILDING ARMY OF KILLER ROBOTS

NEW MICROSOFT BROWSER HAS AN OFFICIAL NAME

SURVEY SHOWS THOSE AVOIDING GLUTEN DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS

CAPE COMEDY IS A CRIME THRILLER WITH MANY TWISTS AND TURNS

Editorial: NET NEUTRALITY FOES WANT TO DOUBLE DIP

Editorial: WHY MITCH MCCONNELL MUST GO

XP UPDATES ON APRIL 9. WERE THEY JUST BLOWING SMOKE?

UPDATE: WANT MARCH MADNESS? BETTER HAVE CABLE.

JESSE VENTURA IS NOT AS OFF THE GRID AS HE THINKS

KIM JONG UN ATTACKS SANTA CLAUS

THANKSGIVING PARADE RENAMED BLACK FRIDAY PARADE

MICROSOFT TO BURY SURFACE TABLETS IN DESERT

Guest Writer: OBAMA BUYS FLIP_FLOPS IN PREPARATION FOR ATTACK

Guest Writer: GO MAD THEN GET MADDERER...

AREA 51 DECLASSIFICATION NO BIG DEAL

DARK SIDE OF THE MOON VISIBLE IN AUGUST

UPDATED:IS SONICWALL BLACKLISTING YOUR WEBSITE

BURGER KING TO INTRODUCE WHOPPER SENIOR

UNRESTFUL SPIRITS CAUSED SUPER BOWL POWER OUTAGE

WINDOWS 8 PICTURE PASSWORDS HACKED

NEW GOOGLE TECHNOLOGY WILL READ MINDS

DO NOT LEGITIMIZE "INFOTAINMENT"

JESUS PEZ DISPENSER IS OFFENSIVE

ANDROID TABLETS ARE A PAIN

NBC TO AIR PORN OLYMPICS

REBUILD BRENT SPENCE WITH CORPORATE SPONSORSHIP

PRETENDERS CALL THEMSELVES CHAMPIONS AGAIN

JUST MAKE SOME CHEESE AND PEPPERONI

TIME TO UPDATE THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE

PERSON OF INTEREST IS PROPAGANDA FOR BIG BROTHER

NEW POST OFFICE SLOGAN LEAVES US SCRATCHING OUR HEADS

WHAT IS THE CLOUD?

HURRICANE BEARING DOWN ON US MAINLAND. IS OBAMA TO BLAME?

"TOM TAGGER" DEFACING COVINGTON

MORE BIZARRE HAPPENINGS AT RED RIVER GORGE

MADAME SOPHIA LAROQUE REPUDIATES NEW ZODIAC

NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK CHANGING THEIR NAME

NO CABLE TV? NO BOWL GAMES FOR YOU

LOSING TEAM CALLS THEMSELVES CHAMPIONS

MCDONALDS BECOMING INCREASINGLY UNFRIENDLY TO THE POOR

PARANOID TEABAGGERS WON'T ANSWER CENSUS

RAMA HO LAMA SAYS ICELAND MUST SACRIFICE

DON'T BLAME IT ALL ON TIGER WOODS AND JESSE JAMES.

THE SUPREME COURT HAS KILLED DEMOCRACY

IS THE NFL RIGGED?

VINCE MCMAHON MAKES ELIZABETH LAMBERT AN OFFER

WAL-MART WANTS TO BANKRUPT THE GIRL SCOUTS

HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS CONFUSED ABOUT MOON LANDING

Guest Writer: Super Fan

BUSH DOES NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT ALL THE FUSS IS ABOUT IN IRAN

Guest Writer: HE LIKES ME -- DOESN'T HE?

Guest Writer: FIRST ENCOUNTERS -- NOT A TIME FOR FAIRY TALES

MAN WINS NCAA OFFICE POOL WITH HELP FROM PSYCHIC

EMERGENCY SERVICES ARE NOT IMPORTANT, THE IDIOT BOX IS

OLIVER BOOTH IS A LOAD OF LAUGHS

Guest Writer: RESOLUTIONS,THEY'RE NOT JUST FOR THE OTHER GUY

Guest Writer: DIVAS,THEY'RE JUST LIKE YOU AND ME

WHITE NOISE GENERATORS MAKING BROWN NOTE

Guest Writer: LONG JOHN SILVER FOR PRESIDENT

Guest Writer: WHICH CANDIDATE WOULD MAKE A BETTER PIRATE?

NUCLEAR LIGHT BULBS TO MAKE CF OBSOLETE

SIX DEGREES OF BALONEY

Guest Writer: LAWYERS AND PIRATES

Guest Writer: SOMALIA, LONG JOHN SILVER AND THE U.N.

ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES TO BECOME A BROADWAY MUSICAL

POLL FINDS MAJORITY OF AMERICANS THINK ELECTORAL COLLEGE IS A SCHOOL

NEW AIRPORT SCANNERS ALLOW TSA PERVERTS TO SEE US AU NATURAL

YET ANOTHER MARS PROBE HOAX

WHO IS THE IDIOT WHO CAME UP WITH GLOSSY SCREENS?

MOTHER'S DAY IS NOT WIVES DAY

MCCAIN ANNOUNCES HIS RUNNING MATE: DICK CHENEY

EDITORIAL: HANDICAPPED SHOPPING CARTS ARE BEING ABUSED

WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE! KILLER ASTEROID TO HIT EARTH IN 2036

NEW YORK GIANTS ARE THE CHEATER DEFEATERS

RELIGIOUS BELIEFS ON DISPLAY AT REPUBLICAN DEBATE

MADAME LAROQUE'S PSYCHIC PREDICTIONS UNSEALED

CONGRESS BARS NASA FROM MARS MISSIONS

CHINA'S WAR ON US WITHOUT FIRING A SHOT

PARIS HILTON'S RELEASE SADDENS AUTHOR OF "CRUCIFY PARIS HILTON" PETITION

NEW HOST OF "THE PRICE IS RIGHT" GILBERT GOTTFRIED

ACADEMY'S SNOOTY SNOBS SNUB SNAKES

BRITNEY SPEARS HAS COOTIES

CINCINNATI BENGALS UNVEIL NEW UNIFORMS

GERALDO RIVERA TO OPEN SADDAM HUSSEIN'S VAULTS

THE UNCOVEROR HAS BEEN JOE JOBBED

REPUBLICAN PLAYBOOK STOLEN FROM WHITEHOUSE

PROFESSOR WOULD MOVE CHRISTMAS

ELMO BUSTED FOR SMUGGLING METH

ED E. DRUCKMAN SAYS WHAT OTHERS WON'T

STOP THE RIGHT WING WAR ON HALLOWEEN

BUSH DECLARES SEPTEMBER 25 THROUGH 28 CUBIC TIME DAY

ICE GEYSERS ON MARS OR ZHTI TI KOFFT EXHAUST VENTS?

TONY SNOW EXPLAINS WHY IRAQ IS NOT A CIVIL WAR

TRIX RABBIT 1958-2006

TRUSTED COMPUTING IS A PLOT BY CHINESE SPIES

BUSH WILL DISPATCH NATIONAL GUARD TO STOP GAY MARRIAGE

UNCOVEROR EXCLUSIVE: SASKRA NOT EXTINCT. SURVIVING SPECIMEN FOUND AND CLONED.

NEW NINTENDO PORTABLE TO BE CALLED "WEEWII"

FREE SECOND DIP LEADS TO VIOLENCE AT ICE CREAM PARLOR

AMERICAN IDOL RIGGED! VOTES COUNTED ON DIEBOLD HARDWARE.

BUSH VISITS INDIA AND PAKISTAN. GREETS INDIAN PRIME MINISTER WITH "HOW KEMOSABE".

NEW SPORT OF BOBSLED CURLING ENDS DISASTROUSLY

ANGRY ABOUT UNSUCCESSFUL HUNT, CHENEY SHOOTS FRIEND.

SEVEN DEAD AND DOZENS INJURED IN BLACK FRIDAY RIOTS

THE CASE AGAINST INTELLIGENT DESIGN

STAR TREK FANS DISAPPOINTED IN NEW FOX SHOW "BONES"

EDITORIAL: ANGELS PAUL BYRD THROWING SPITBALLS

EDITORIAL: DOES NANCY ZIMPHER WANT A WHITER UNIVERSITY OF CINCINNATI?

AN XMAS CARD FROM UNCOVEROR TO FARK

UPDATED! WHAT WERE THE SUPREME COURT THINKING?

THAT WAS NO VIRUS

PARIS HILTON DITCHES "THAT STUPID DOG"

EDITORIAL: COPYRIGHT LAWYERS BULLYING THE UNCOVEROR

CANADA AND DENMARK AT THE BRINK OF WAR

PIRATE'S TREASURE HIDDEN IN CINCINNATI PARK

BUSH WILL NOMINATE JUDGE WAPNER TO SUPREME COURT

"PERVERTO" GONZALES STRIPS LADY JUSTICE

LIFE COACHES ASSEMBLING ARMY OF "MANCHURIAN CANDIDATES"

NEW USDA PYRAMID SCHEME WILL RUIN OUR HEALTH

THE ROBOTIC SUBWAYMEN: ROBOTS MAKING MUSIC

PRINCE CHARLES REGRETS NOT BEING ABLE TO KILL REPORTERS

ALABAMA FRIED CHICKEN?

PRESIDENT BUSH DROPS FIRST DOG BARNEY

MINIATURE COWS: AMERICA'S LATEST PET CRAZE

Older Stories Archive

Current Sponsor Messages: 

Forex Trading

Editor's Recommended Links:

How Dangerous Is Black  Friday? Look At This Infographic.

The Uncoveror Supports The Oatmeal's call for a Tesla Museum

Stop ACTA!

Save The Internet!

HumorVolcano.com

Atlanta Center for Policy Analysis

Unconfirmed Sources

About The Uncoveror

For free printable copies of our newsletter, Click here.

If you have uncovered something, let us know. Send e-mail to:
gif of e-mail address
To fight spam, that is not a link. You will have to type it.
Our old address was hijacked by spammers. Please update your address book.

Add a link to THE UNCOVEROR to your site.