By M. Grant Winston, Managing Editor

A poll was recently taken just before the end of the past school year about the upcoming fortieth anniversary of the Apollo 11 moon landing. Less than ten percent could correctly state that it happened on July 20, 1969. Few more were aware that the Lunar Lander was called "The Eagle", and only about fifteen percent could correctly name the astronauts involved. I met a student who thought he knew about it, and even gave a presentation to his class. He repeated the presentation for me. Here it is.

"The Moon Landing. Back in the hippie days of the sixties, not everyone was protesting and getting high. We actually put two men on the moon. That was real cool! It was like Star Wars or Star Trek, only it was real. They even called their ship The Enterprise. Their names were Stretch Armstrong and Buzz Lightyear. Here is a diarrhea, or diagramma, or whatever they are called that I made of it.

Stretch Armstrong got to go first because he was so strong and tough that all he needed was his weightlifter thong to go out there on the moon. Buzz Lightyear had to put on his spacesuit first, so he went out second. They collected a bunch of stuff like rocks, dirt and green cheese, and then they brought it back here. I think we ate all the green cheese already. When they got back to Earth, both had action figures of themselves sold in stores, but only Buzz Lightyear got to be a movie star. The end."

Even though I can barely begin to describe how confused this young boy is, His teacher told me that he came closer than any of his classmates to actually understanding what happened, and she did not want to damage his self-esteem, so she gave him an "A".

So this is what our educational system is churning out? I shudder to think that today's kids are tomorrow's workers, and this one is a future leader. At least he is not as stupid as the clowns who think the whole thing was a Hollywood hoax. Though I know I am wasting my time, I will tell them this: Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead.


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