Guest Writer: Resolutions,
They're Not Just for the Other Guy
by David
Desmond,
Author of The
Misadventures of Oliver Booth: Life
in the Lap of Luxury
As we conclude yet another year of greed, gluttony, and sloth and teenage
girls replace their now completed High School Musical 3 calendars with
twelve months of images from the movie Twilight, it's pretty much a
universal truth that feelings of guilt and dissatisfaction will inspire us
to try to change our ways -- yet again.
New Year's resolutions tend to be predictable, touching on a range of
failings to which many of us are prone, including a lack of exercise,
smoking, spending excessive time at work and too little time with family and
friends, falling into debt (a problem that is rapidly moving up in the
rankings), and generally being stuck in a rut. As a last resort, after years
of inertia and failed resolutions, there are even some people who resolve
to, once and for all, stick to their New Year's resolutions. A bit of
circular reasoning, but noble nevertheless. In a recent issue of the English
newspaper The Daily Mail, the writer Mike Gayle took it perhaps a bit
too far when he came up with a list of 1,277 resolutions, which included
goals such as trying to grow a beard, wearing hats more often because he
feels that he looks good in them, learning how to fold clothes properly like
they do in posh clothing shops, and trying to make the miserable checkout
lady smile. Those aspirations might seem trivial to you, but resolutions,
when taken as a group, are usually intended to remake one's life, which, if
you ask me, seems to be a tough but worthwhile proposition.
Since nobody is perfect, it's safe to assume that anybody could come up with
a realistic resolution if he or she could gain some insight into his or her
failings. Whether it's an obvious problem, such as the viewing of Inside
Edition on a daily basis, or something more subtle, such as the nagging
feeling that life is passing one by, resolutions have the potential to be a
call to action. Even celebrities, who, for better or oftentimes for worse,
serve as role models for so many of us, can recognize that changes need to
be made. Carmen Electra, for example, who has never been accused of being
super-serious, said that her goal for 2009 is, "to have more fun! I was just
with Jenny McCarthy not too long ago, and she said, 'Carmen, life is
supposed to be fun.' And I remembered that, it stayed in my head. And that
is my goal." At the opposite extreme we find Joel Madden, who is in a band
called Good Charlotte but probably better known as the father of Nicole
Richie's baby. Perhaps aspiring to set a new standard for grandiosity, he
said, "I have been really involved with UNICEF this year. I just got back
from Africa. I think what I want to focus on for the new year is advocating
against violence against women and children, especially where I was in
Central Africa, the Congo and Sudan." Personally, I think Joel would have a
better chance of success if he simply resolved, like Carmen, to have more
fun this year.
Sometimes resolutions are easier if they involve an absence of effort, such
as in the case of television presenter and Celebrity Apprentice winner Piers
Morgan, who said that his aspiration was, "to win my £100 bet with Simon
Cowell that I won't have plastic surgery in an effort to combat the evil of
high-definition television." While I would prefer that Pete Wentz would also
resolve to do nothing, particularly in the realm of music, perhaps he should
instead resolve to give his baby a new name that is not based on a borough
of New York and a beloved Rudyard Kipling character. Of course, given that
Bronx Mowgli's mother is pop tart Ashlee Simpson, and that Pete and Ashlee's
combined intellect does not even approach that of our friend Carmen Electra,
I anticipate that no such resolution will be forthcoming and that we can
look forward to an unfortunately coiffed child named Brooklyn Baloo in the
not-too-distant future. Remarkably, the most sensible attitude toward
resolutions may have come from Lindsay Lohan (what is the world coming to?),
who said, "People can make New Year's resolutions, but I'm telling you all
now, you're all lying because you're not going to stick to them for a year."
So what is the solution? Well, given that I'm a clinical psychologist as
well as a writer (by the way, in the first scene in my new satirical novel, The
Misadventures of Oliver Booth: Life in the Lap of Luxury, which is set
on New Year's Eve, I have a lot of fun at the expense of the title
character, who feels, probably just like Diddy, that he shouldn't make any
New Year's resolutions because other people are the problem), perhaps I can
offer you one worthwhile piece of advice. No philosophy will succeed if it's
discarded after one day. You see, most resolutions are made with the best of
intentions as we move from December 31st into January 1st, but they're
typically forgotten as we move into January 2nd and once again confront
those mundane but relentless stressors that can wear us down. In fact, we
need to treat every day like the beginning of a new year. You could argue
that Mike Gayle became overwhelmed with trivialities when he created his
to-do list, but you should note that the most important of his many
resolutions, to my mind, was "Carpe diem!" Seize the day, that pretty much
sums it up. Regardless of the specific issues that you need to address, do
it now, don't wait for another December 31st to arrive. Make a resolution
every day of the year, as well as a continuing effort to improve your life,
and don't think like Diddy.
Copyright © 2009 David
Desmond, author of The Misadventures of Oliver Booth: Life in the
Lap of Luxury
Author Bio
Born in New York City, David Desmond, author of The
Misadventures of Oliver Booth: Life in the Lap of Luxury, is
a clinical psychologist and a member of the renowned Trump family. He is a
graduate of the University of Chicago with a degree in the behavioral
sciences, and he received his PhD from Fordham University. He resides in
Palm Beach and Paris.
Please visit www.oliverbooth.com/ for
more information.