Obama Buys Flip-Flops In Preparation For Attack

It seems that whatever President Obama does, he gets kicked in the policy department. When he’s not getting in trouble for failing to stop a hurricane, then he’s in the doghouse over Syria – damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t. It seems whichever way he turns he’s stymied. This week has seen more political changes of mind and flip-flopping than usual and it’s all over his backtracking on whether to go ahead and bomb the stricken country without doing all the necessary legal stuff first, you know, like talking to Congress about it…

Friday night romantic walk

However, it seems that on Friday night just past, a romantic walk in the White House grounds with one of his top advisers, Chief of Staff Denis McDonough, helped him to finally make the decision to go the legal route in hunting for oil in Syria. Did we just say hunting for oil? Of course not. Nothing could be further from the truth here.

On his return from the walk with McDonough, where they held hands, gazed longingly into each other’s eyes and muttered sweet nothings about being together forever the President rang all his advisers to tell them he’d changed his mind and would do this the right way. President Obama had been leaning towards simply attacking Syria without the backing of Congress. Taking lessons and paying heed to what happened in Iraq simply flew out of the window, as he took a leaf out of former British Prime Minister Tony Blair’s book and prepared to go steaming in without all the necessary evidence in place. Clear thinking, morality and ethics have little to do with anything when there’s the potential for the flow of oil from the Middle East to be interrupted. The President has already stated that if there was going to be any sort of conflict or war, that any attacks would be brief and limited and shouldn’t bust any oil barrels. They might take out a few hundred citizens, raze a few buildings to the ground and cause massive civil unrest – but the oil barrels will be fine. Did you HEAR that, bro? The oil barrels will be FINE.

Obama team fractured over the decision

Just like a fuel line that’s been hit by a missile, Obama’s team is looking decidedly fractured right now. Secretary of State John Kerry had been made to look a fool after his impassioned speech earlier in the week claiming that “It matters if the world speaks out in condemnation and then nothing happens” when it was believed that the US Military would just rock up there and start, you know, doing stuff. After the President had informed them all of his decision, there was some serious backtracking to be done as he claimed that waiting for congressional backing was definitely “more in line with his philosophy” that steaming in there all guns blazing was.

It seemed that by Saturday morning, the main players in the Obama team had given in to his feelings and arranged to put their fantasies of aerial bombing to one side. For now.

Speaking to the nation

Obama took to the airwaves to speak to the US on Saturday afternoon, saying that while he knew he could just go in there and make like, a totally massive mess and stuff, if he wanted – that it simply wouldn’t be right to do so without getting the backing of congress first. This is because authorized mess is much more legal and above board than unauthorized mess. Aides close to the President say that they are confident the backing will happen and that if it doesn’t they are quite prepared to administer Chinese Burns to anyone that doesn’t acquiesce.

Mr Obama has also been in close contact with his British counterpart, the Prime Minister David Cameron and has said that he will take into account the views of the UK Government and its people when he is deciding which step to take next. More than likely he’ll ignore it, but he’ll at least make the pretence of pretending to listen first. The Democratic House Leader Nancy Pelosi commented that “The debate and authorization by Congress for action will make our country and the response in Syria stronger”. She may or nay not have added “and if you believe that, you’ll believe anything…” at the end of her impassioned speech. Watch this space…