2003 IS ANOTHER Y2K FOR SURVIVAL GEAR SALES
On February 7, 2003,
The Office of Homeland
Security placed the United States on Orange Alert. People were terrified and confused; some
on the verge of panic, but Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge told Americans what to do.
To prepare for possible chemical and biological attacks, prepare a safe room. To
do this, you need a stock of bottled water and non-perishable food, plastic
sheeting and duct tape. Once the alarm is sounded, take your whole family
into the safe room with the food and water, then seal all the doors and windows
with plastic sheeting and duct tape. You will probably have enough oxygen to
last until the all clear signal. The toxic gasses should creep along the ground,
so make your safe room upstairs if you don't live in a ranch house. Since
this advice was given, people have bought up all the duct tape available, and
nearly all other survival gear as well. Duct tape factories are kicking their
production into high gear to meet the newfound demand. For them, the recession
is over.
In Winsted, Connecticut, a man named Paul West has wrapped
his entire house in plastic. "I just have all this energy from tension and anxiety and I don't know what to do with it," West
said. "Basically, I'm doing what the government says we should do."
One can only wonder if the government told him to jump off a bridge, would he do
that, too?
At hardware
stores and survivalist supply shops like The
Survival Shack in Horse Branch, Arkansas, the shelves have been picked clean. We
spoke to Clem Riley, an employee of The Survival Shack. "Hooey! we're
making so much money. When Y2K came and went and nothing ever did happen, we
thought we were going to have to close. Only the nutbars with cabins up in the
woods were buying our stuff. That started to change after 9/11, but everything
really took off thanks to Tom Ridge. It's bigger than 1999. We're going to be
rich!" We also spoke to the store's owner, Ray Brantley. "I am working
real hard to keep up with demand, but it's worth it. Tin foil is really flying
off the shelves. People are also asking about digging wells and collecting rain
water in barrels. We are selling gas masks, we are selling oxygen tanks, cans of
Spam, water testing kits, water jugs, guns, ammo, the whole nine yards. I am thinking about turning The Survival Shack into a chain.
This war on terror could last for years, and opportunity knocks on your
door only once. I don't want someone else to get there first. I expect the next
two
must have items to be sand bags and magnets, so I have ordered thousands of
each. Magnets repel nucular (sic) radiation, you know. I read it on the
internet."
Even though the threat of a so-called dirty bomb turned
out to be a fake, the alert level remains at orange. The men we at The
Survival Shack don't have a problem with that. Brantley told us, "I can
barely imagine how much business will take off if they declare red alert.
