Good news for vegetarians:
Meat that Grows on trees

There is good news for vegetarians. New Dawn Biotech of Alberta, Canada has genetically engineered meat that grows on trees. Soon, no more cute or furry little animals may have be slaughtered for meat. Animal rights activists can rejoice. So far, they can grow slabs of ribs, sirloin steaks, and venison in a purely vegetative manner. The gene splicers are working on more, such as pork chops, ham, t-bone steaks, filet minion, and hamburgers.

"It's not ready for market yet." Says Dr. Norman Taurus of New Dawn Biotech's foods division. "The first two versions, Treemeat 1.0 and Treemeat 1.1 were both foul tasting, and potentially carcinogenic. Treemeat 1.2 was much sweeter tasting, and higher in saturated fat than animal derived red meats. It also had a certain fakeness to its taste, but soon we will have vegetative meat that looks, tastes and smells like the original." Dr. Taurus also began to tell me that the engineering of Treemeat is coming along quicker than the Chick'N project, but a man in a suit then came and whispered in his ear, and he would say no more about the Chick'N project. He even claimed that he was making a joke, and that there was no such thing. We suspect that there is more to it than that, as we previously told you in the article, Is It Chicken At All?

After telling me about the Treemeat, he then took me to a greenhouse where they had it growing. I saw it with my own eyes! Thick juicy steaks, and slabs of ribs hanging from the limbs. It appeared to be moist with actual blood. It even dripped a little. Dr. Taurus told me that as long as it stayed on the vine, it would stay fresh, needing no salting or refrigeration. Once it is picked however, It can spoil, and must be treated just like animal derived meats.

At the end of the tour I was offered a sample of  Treemeat 1.3. It tasted pretty convincingly like a steak, but left a maple syrup like aftertaste. Though many people may like the idea of having meat without "killing Bambi" so to speak. I can't help wonder whether something will go terribly wrong. We will keep you posted.

I was not allowed to take any photographs, but I have people who might just be able to get me some. Check back here from time to time to look for them.


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