TOILET BOWL SNAKE ATTACKS ON THE RISE
More now than ever, people who sit down on the commode just to
relieve themselves are being bitten in their posteriors by venomous
snakes. The culprits include water moccasins and copperheads.
The Federal Bureau of Statistics reports that in 1997, there were 105 reported toilet bowl snake attacks, resulting in 17 fatalities. In 1998, there were 135 attacks and 30 fatalities. In 1999, 200 attacks were reported, and 50 fatalities. Why? According to Harvey Schitz at the Federal Bureau of Statistics, urban sprawl is to blame. "We keep building new subdivisions way out in areas that used to be wilderness, and have disturbed natural reptile habitats. This was bound to happen." Mr. Schitz added that people who live in the city are much less likely to be attacked in this manner. "Until new serpent-proof toilets and plumbing are developed, This problem is going to get worse and worse out in the suburbs. Maybe it isn't so dangerous back in the city after all!"
If you're suddenly suffering from snake bites then you aren't going to want to look up medical advice online, you'll want to call an emergency health specialist. For those who have allergies though you can leisurely look up lots of health info online any time.