YELLOW CAKE FROM NIGER FOUND IN
IRAQ
When President Bush said the sixteen
infamous words,
"The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from
Africa", people were terrified, and most supported going to war. He was
referring to a document originally obtained from Italian intelligence, which
purported that Hussein had purchased a grade of enriched uranium commonly
referred to as "yellow cake" from the African nation of Niger.
Former Ambassador Joseph C. Wilson IV, had traveled to Africa, and had warned
the CIA that the document was a
forgery. The CIA told the state department, and
they told the White House. It was obvious that the claim simply did not belong
in the State of the Union speech. Everyone under the sun but Bush himself was
eventually blamed for the gaffe by White House spokesman, and media pundits.
The source of the President's claim in his State of the Union
Address has now been positively identified, according to White House aide
Jeffery Mathers. It was not the Niger document from Italy at all, but a
photograph.
"This photograph," said Mathers, "shows the actual item found in one of Saddam Hussein's
Presidential Palaces. The photo was sent to the U.S. by operatives
in Iraq more than one week before the speech. As the story went along
through word-of-mouth, the nature of the photograph was misunderstood. Saddam Hussein
has a sweet tooth, and that is why he purchased this. As you
can see, it is indeed yellow cake from Niger. It is ironic that there is also a
kind of uranium with the same name, and it, too can be obtained in Niger, but
this was a mistake anyone could have made."
Mathers insisted that this photo is genuine, and not just the latest in a long
line of obfuscations from the Bush administration. He went on to say,
"While this is only a weapon of mass destruction if you are on a diet, it
was indeed found in Baghdad. Now that we can all see that it was just a
misunderstanding, we need to forgive our leader. It is time for all Americans,
and the world to move on."
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