I first encountered this story back in the fall of 1989, while in New York working on my now famous series of lectures on the disturbing events that had taken place in Central Park that are now known as the Hair Dye Incidents. While I was only thirteen at the time, my growing talents as a motivational speaker/lecturer/investigative reporter had led me to several encounters with not only the nasty side of fame, but several opportunistic encounters with some of the nation's finest minds. One of these people happened to be none other than Dr. J. Murray Grimmstein from the Center for the Institute of Studies. He had been working on applied domestic appliance theory, and recently had some troublesome encounters with the FBI concerning his investigations into the history of the common household mop for a paper he was working on. What he had found was much deeper than anyone could have imagined, and the events following his mysterious death the following spring were covered up, along with all of the research he had done on mop technology. Until now.
When most people think of the mop, they think of the common household-cleaning utensil, used for cleaning and waxing floors. They recognize its usefulness, respect its potential dangers, and follow the necessary safety precautions. While the mop doesn't seem like a threatening object in itself, its history and evolution since World War II had been something that everybody had taken for granted. People simply didn't think about where the mop came from. Often, its history was simply explained through folklore that was passed down for years, or was dismissed as a trivial matter that only troublemakers would dare question. What I am about to explain to you may deeply disturb some, and I advise some of the more sensitive readers to skip this chapter, as it deals with very serious themes connecting some of the most unexpected people, places, and events taking place during World War II. If you decide to read on, I commend you for your bravery, curiosity, and strong desire to seek the TRUTH.
In June of 1939, Emperor Hirohito ordered the formation of an investigatory committee to seek out new ways of espionage of political opponents, and gain the support of the then small number of women supporters in the workplace. At the time, he still had access to some of the greatest scientists that had ever lived. To coincide with his sidiously twisted and evil plot to expand Japan's territory, a team of anthropologists, economists, physicists, and master woodworkers came up with a tool that not only solved the problem of spying on his enemies, but created jobs and the positive support from within the female Japanese population: the mop. Mop was an acronym for Michiko Omaesuka Pasutoku, which was the ancient Japanese god/keeper of the floors.
Before the mop's creation, the marketing of floor cleansing products had been grossly overlooked in most of greater Asia. Because of the long and rich history of Japanese mythology, most households relied on Michiko Omaesuka Pasutoku to protect and cleanse their floors of dirt and evil spirits. The introduction of the mop into Japanese houses was spread solely by word of mouth, and with the efficiency of a deadly virus. It was a revelation, taking Japan by storm and showing Japan's ingenuity and desire to become one of the major industrial powers in the world. Soon, a new market was created for floor cleansing that was naturally taken over by the more domestically inclined women. Hirohito quickly realized that as his own people were now hiring outside contractors to manage their floors, most other countries could benefit from the mop, as they were equally behind in this much overlooked area.
This presented him with multiple opportunities not only for espionage, but to use his own enemies as a potential market for this then high tech item, because not only could the mop be sold to their enemies, Japan could finally utilize the Mexico free trade act of 1845, made when a desperate Japan nearly collapsed economically because of lagging trade with its essential hair freeming industry. By contracting out Mexican women as "house cleaners", Japan quickly gained knowledge of the surrounding lands it had planned to conquer. This evidence also points to why there was no warning of the attack at Pearl Harbor, as the current trend in Washington was to hire Mexican labor for domestic chores as it was cheaper, and there was increasing pressure to cut costs because of the money spent building our defense against outside countries.
Note: This story is not complete. The fax we received from our reporter in the fields was cut off in progress by those who don't want us to know, But we won't be silenced here at THE UNCOVEROR. More on this is coming soon.