Thousands of so called "Beta Testers" for the new Windows XP Operating System have been reported exhibiting strange behavior by friends, according to the Center for the Institute for Studies. "They have been spending large sums of money." says Professor John Meesafroud, "Unusually large sums. Not only that, but we have found after studying our test subjects, that they have been demonstrating a disturbing indifference towards our government and what it does. Emotional indifference, loss of any mathematical ability, and a desire to consume useless and unneeded products are the same phenomes described by the developers of UNIX, which was reverse engineered from the very operating systems that were aboard the ship recovered from Roswell, New Mexico all those years ago. The phenomenon is being tagged "Intellectual reprogramming" and is the technique supposedly used by the aliens from the Roswell incident to imprint the complex knowledge necessary to control the flight systems. While essential to the flights of those brave souls, humans have been proven to be naturally addictive to such stimuli, and become addicted to any system which employs this technology." This is indeed a grave situation for us all. I hope for the greater good of mankind that we find a solution to this problem quick. This could mean the end to all intelligent life as we know it.