The incident in which President Bush choked on a pretzel has not been accurately portrayed in the press. It turns out that certain subjects upset the president so much that they should never be mentioned when he is eating.

Some have suggested that Osama Bin Laden sent special pretzels designed to make our leader choke.

Relax! Osama Bin Laden has not gone into the pretzel business. A white house aide had been watching the news on television, and asked the president if he had ever owned stock in Enron.

The mention of the bankrupt energy firm made him gulp, and choke on the pretzel he was eating.

The aide has since then received a stern lecture about subjects that just are not appropriate when the president is eating. They include drilling in Alaska, the election scandal, his daughters' drinking, cocaine, his brother Jeb, and especially Enron! Vice President Cheney advised the young man to avoid speaking to the president at all until clearing it with him, so he can screen conversations, and make sure the president is not eating, or drinking, and is sitting down.

The young Aide apologized profusely, and promised it would not happen again.