AL QAEDA TERROR MESSAGE HIDDEN IN BARNEY SHOW
Something
very sinister and disturbing has been found in the popular PBS children's show Barney
and Friends. Stereo TV broadcasts sometimes
include a SAP (second audio program) channel, which is commonly used for
bilingual broadcasts. This week, it was used for a very sinister purpose. The US was placed on Orange Alert upon discovering that
Al-Qaeda had used the Barney show to send a message of terror. The main audio program was
innocent enough. The costumed performers and several children were singing and
dancing to a song about imagination, but on the SAP channel, Barney was clearly saying, "Allah Ackbar, little
mujahadden! The time has come
for intifada against the infidels. Our glorious Jihad has begun."
We were frightened to learn that scores of seemingly cherubic youngsters
like this little boy have gotten his message of hatred for
America, and are prepared to do the bidding of Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein,
and the rest of the Al-Qaeda terror network!
A Whitehouse spokesman told us, "reports have been
coming in from all over the nation about children going mad, and behaving
outrageously, such as a little girl in Battle Creek, Michigan who hit her mother
in the head with a plate, knocking her out cold, while screaming,
'Ah-la-la-la-la-la-la!' just as Arabs do when shooting guns into the air.
A young boy in North Carolina broke his parents' TV, throwing his toys at it
when Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld appeared for a press conference, the
boy was allegedly shouting something in Arabic."
"President Bush," he went on to say, "has
always thought that Barney was no good. When Jenna and Barbara were little, they
went on and on about Barney the purple dinosaur. Our Leader told them that they
were confused, that Barney was a man, and Dino was the purple dinosaur. When he
said that, the twins threw a temper tantrum the likes of which none of Bush
family had ever seen. He knew that any children's show that confused parents and
upset children in such a manner had to be subversive, and would undermine family
values."
President Bush advises all parents and grandparents in
America, all schools and day care centers, to stop letting little tykes watch
Barney. The survival of America may depend on it.
